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Credit: The Sun Newspaper – Deidre Sanders – 21 Out 2023
BIG REGRET | I pushed my husband away (afastei) and now I drown my sorrows (afogo minhas mágoas) with alcohol.
DEAR DEIDRE: MY second marriage has imploded (desmoronou) because I couldn’t trust my husband.
Now I drink a bottle of wine alone every night mulling over (considerando/refletindo) whether I was the cause of our problems or whether I was right to doubt him.
I’d love to meet someone else to stop the pain, but who would look at me while I’m such a mess (bagunça)?
I’m 47 and my ex is 43. He brought such a kind and calming nature.
He moved in quickly and we got married after dating for a year.
It was honestly the happiest time of my life.
But then my older sisters started saying negative things about him – like he was using me to get on the housing ladder (entrar no setor imobiliário, adquirir uma propriedade).
They planted the seed (semente) of doubt in my head.
From then on (a partir daí) whenever he went to meet a friend, his family, or was at work for longer than normal I felt convinced he was cheating on (traindo) me.
I regularly asked if he was going behind my back (às escondidas) and his answer was always the same, “Why would I cheat on you, you are my life?”
But eventually I think I wore him down (o desgastei). He started to tell me I was pushing him away.
One night he didn’t come home – he said he’d got too drunk and stayed with a friend.
When he eventually returned home I was so upset I could hardly breathe.
He said he’d had enough (cansou, chegou ao limite). He left me that day.
He says he still wants to be friends with me, but I’m finding it really hard. It is so painful.
solace (consolo) in a bottle.”
DEIDRE SAYS: Trust is the key issue (questão fundamental) and I suspect you have been let down (desapontada) in the past which has damaged (prejudicou) your ability to believe in any partner.
I would be wary (cautelosa, desconfiada) of trying to stay friends with your ex as the relationship is so difficult for you.
You need to put yourself first now and focus on building your own confidence.
It’s important to fully grieve (estar de luto, vivenciar) the end of your marriage and as hard as that is don’t hide from it.
Drinking heavily (beber muito) every night may numb (adormecer, mascarar) your hurt in the short term but it won’t help you to face uncomfortable truths and heal.
You will in time (com o tempo) get there but don’t rush the process.
My support packs, Moving On and Problem Drinker (pessoa com problemas relacionados ao álcool)?, should help you.
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Poll – Have you ever experienced trust issues (problemas de confiança) in past relationships?
- Yes, I’ve had trust issues in previous relationships.
- No, I’ve never had trust issues in my relationships.
- I’m currently experiencing trust issues in a current relationship.
- I’m currently in a relationship, and trust is not a problem.
Definitions: (Waytogo and Dictionary Cambridge/Collins/Longman/Macmillan/Oxford/Lexico)
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Way to go! 