dear deidre | lesson 30

My family feel like I have turned on them because I have moved away
Credit: The Sun Newspaper – Deidre Sanders

UNHAPPY FAMILIES | My family call me ‘disloyal’ because I moved to a new area with my girlfriend.

DEAR DEIDRE: MY family has turned against me, saying I’m disloyal because I have moved down south with my girlfriend, got a new job and moved in with her family.

I’m really upset by my family’s reaction – I thought that they would be happy for me.

I’m 23, my girlfriend is also 23 and my brothers are 26 and 29. As the youngest, I have always been treated as the baby.

When my mum and dad commented that they wouldn’t be “stepping foot” in my new home town, I was devastated.

Everything has been going so well but my family’s reaction has completely floored me.

They say my girlfriend is stuck up and has “stolen” me.

My two older brothers live within a couple of streets of Mum and Dad with their families and I think they always expected I’d do the same.


Your family is feeling rejected and behaving as if they have lost you.

Do you know why they dislike your girlfriend so much? Could you try to talk to an understanding relative who may be able to shed some light on their strong feelings?

Could you also go home and visit them with your girlfriend so they can get to know her better?

Explain to them how happy she makes you feel and that you would dearly love them to feel happy for you also.

I’m sending you my support pack Standing Up For Yourself which will help you express your feelings clearly.

Source: The Sun Newspaper – Deidre Sanders – 29 NOV 2021


  • disloyal not supporting your friends, family, country, etc.
    Tradução > desleal, infiel.
  • turn against sb stop being friendly towards somebody.
    Tradução > voltar-se contra, virar-se contra alguém.
  • turn on sb to suddenly attack someone, using physical violence or unpleasant words.
    Tradução > voltar-se contra alguém.
  • step foot to enter some location.
    Tradução > pisar, pôr os pés, colocar os pés.
  • floor sb to make someone feel so surprised and confused that they cannot react.
    Tradução > chocar, pasmar, desconcertar, derrubar alguém.
  • stuck up thinking that you are more important than other people and behaving in an unfriendly way towards them.
    Tradução > convencido, metido, arrogante, esnobe.
  • dislike to not like somebody/something.
    Tradução > não gostar, ter antipatia.
  • understanding ​showing sympathy for other people’s problems and being willing to forgive them when they do something wrong.
    Tradução > compreensivo, compassivo.
  • shed light on to make a problem, etc. easier to understand.
    Tradução > esclarecer, lançar luz sobre, iluminar.
  • get to know to become acquainted with someone or something.
    Tradução > chegar a conhecer, vir a conhecer, ter a oportunidade/passar a conhecer alguém.
  • dearly very much.
    Tradução > tanto, profundamente.

Definitions: (Waytogo and Dictionary Cambridge/Collins/Longman/Macmillan/Oxford/Lexico)

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